Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize