it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
