it was like his penis was on wheels.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
