I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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