idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
