I think I am morally bankrupt
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
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