sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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