Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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