Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
