just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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