What a fucking waste of an outfit
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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