My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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