Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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