I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
