i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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