in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
