did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
