She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
