she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You took a bar mat shot.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
