just come out here and I will go home with you...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
