I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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