my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
