i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
