Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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