Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize