there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Vodka?
Forever.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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