Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
