You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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