There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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