It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
