ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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