Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
