I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
