Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
