i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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