dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he shaved USA in his pubs
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize