Can i not drive my cunt home
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
