Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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