Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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