Only a mothe r could love this liver
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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