Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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