i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
