im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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