Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
