I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize