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Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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