What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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