I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
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my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
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Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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