I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
