oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
