i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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