Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I deserve this hangover.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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