How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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