Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
