My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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