Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
