I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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