my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
