Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
