Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Randomize
