I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
