She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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