I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
