My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
