I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
